Unfairness & job hunting

I've been finding for jobs since December '13. I once went to Gurney Plaza to apply for jobs and a food shop took me in for RM6/ hour. I rejected cause my mum doesn't like it. She said that it's too far and inconvenient but hey, my 2nd sister once worked at other shops there and she never complain that it's far. How unfair is that? I seriously think that my mum loves my 2nd sister more than me cause she always compare me to her. Even when we're in school, she like to compare our results. I remember when I was in form 2 and my 2nd sister is in form 4. I failed my history by 2 marks and it was my first time failing in an exam. I was very down at that time and my mum scolded me for a whole freaking year. I know it was for my own good but I just can't accept it as my 2nd sister failed a lot of times when she was in primary and my mum never scolded her ever since I remember. From the day I failed my history exam, I told myself that I have to study really hard and win my 2nd sister! I got 1st for the whole year when I was in form 3 and I got 1st until form 5 ends too except mid-term in form 4 and 1st monthly test in form 5. My mum didn't even praise me. She only praised me once when I first got 1st in class which is like my 1st monthly test in form 3 and never since. It made me think that me getting good results is something SO normal to her that she don't even need to praise me. Praise is something the least someone could have given right? It costs NOTHING to praise someone and you lose NOTHING as well. Is it so hard to even praise me? Let alone not attending prize giving days when I was in form 3, 4 and 5. I got like 4 prizes in form 5 and when I asked her if she's attending, she's like "for what? waste time". Even one of the teacher at school was like "aiya, why didn't tell me? I go up and give you your prize". I know the teacher wasn't being serious but at least she made an effort to make me feel better when she knew that none of my family members are coming to give me my prizes. 

Okay, back to my 2nd job hunt. I went to 1st avenue this time with one of my friend that is looking for a job as well. A boutique hired me with an okay pay but I rejected as I was waiting for a shoe shop to get back to me if they want to take me in as a clerk cause my parents wants me to look for a clerk job and I found it at the clerk job. About 4 days after I applied for the job, the shoe shop replied me but they didn't want me as a clerk and they offered me a shop assistant job with a lower pay than the boutique wanted to hire me earlier. The shoe shop's boss is really nice tho. I couldn't decide if I wanted to work there as the pay can't really cover the costs and I rejected it at last. So, I'm now back to square one, jobless.

Confusion

I am now at this stage of life where I have to sort of decide what I want to be in the future let alone if I can or not. I'm not sure if I should go to college or form 6. There are pros and cons for each of them. I am actually going to go for accounting as I am in arts stream and my class takes accounts and economics(econs). I chose accounting is not because I have outstanding results for it but if i were to compare my results for accounts and econs, my accounts results are better and I'm more interested in accounting than econs as I am kinda bad at things which needs memorising such as history.

I am not from a wealthy family. I am not even sure if my parents are being able to send me to college and I am indecisive of going to college or form 6 is better for me so I actually have this mindset that if I get a full scholarship, I will go for college and if I don't, I'll just go for form 6. I actually applied for a scholarship by Sunway College with my mid-term results and went for interview. I was rewarded RM10, 000 but it was separated into 3 semesters which are RM4,000 for semester 1 and RM3,000 for semester 2 and 3. I dont think it is enough to cover the cost that I applied which is Australian Matriculation programme so I rejected it. Until now, I have not applied for any other scholarships as I do not know what are available for me.

I heard that Tunku Abdul Rahman College (TARC) offers full scholarship for any SPM students that achieved straight A's in their actual SPM results so I might be aiming for that. I'm now hoping that I'll get straight A's for my SPM as that is really what I wanted to achieve or even straight A+'s. I know this might sound greedy but that's what I really really wanted. I am really really scared that my results will turn out bad as this year's SPM is very different from the previous years. They added Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) question into every subject and changed the formats for some subjects as well so it is really difficult for us to score :( and as for moral, they totally changed the format for the essay part. Usually, we are asked moral values and we are supposed to answer according to the format but they changed the questions to ways and lesson learnt.That is why I am really worried for my results..

I am very worried that if I applied for scholarships using my forecast results, and if my actual SPM results did not meet their minimum requirement, which is at least 5As then my parents will have to pay for my college fees. This is the worse thing I could think of right now. Someone please help me decide what should I do. I am so scared that what if i make the wrong decision and it does not only ruin my future but bring trouble to my parents too :(

Hello! It have been nearly 2 years since I last updated my blog. I've been really busy last year and I almost forgotten that I have a blog (this actually proves that I'm not that in to blogging). I've finished my SPM last month and I'm free now (before I get a job while waiting for my results). I'm kind of into blogging these days but mostly on my dayre. You can check me out on www.dayre.me/weithing . I actually started dayre to read the posts by Audrey ( www.fourfeetnine.com ). She have been really inspiring to me. I actually intend to create a new blog since this blog is dead for so long but I decided not to cause this is actually my first blog and I do not know how to delete this blog so i guess the best way is to continue blogging here :) I might not be on this blog that often compared to my dayre as it is really convenient that I can blog while using my phone and I don't get to use the laptop often but I'll try to post here as often as I can although I know that nobody actually reads this but I still wants to post cause this is actually a space for me to get the thoughts off my head without being fear of being judged by my friends nor my family. I am that type of person that afraid to be judged so don't judge.

Hey, just stop by to post something to keep my blog alive :) School ends at 12.30 from today onwards for a month! I guess its a good thing for me so that I have more time to study since exam is around the corner yet I haven't start studying yet. Yes, I am THAT lazy. I thought I've finished those paperworks that I'm supposed to do for basketball's file and when I'm about to return the file this morning, I just check through in case I missed anything and yes. I missed a lot of things. I only did the minor part so that means more paperwork to come ._. I better get back to the paperwork now. Bye!

Hey! I'm a happy girl. I know that's random but I just feel happy without any reason :) Woke up at 8 this morning without my alarm :o anyway, I finally have the time to read all my storybooks I bought a few months back. After finishing NUMBERS by Rachel Ward that i borrowed from Chor Hoong last month (I know its a really long time but I don't have the time to read it) , I DARK SOULS by Paula Morris and now I'm reading CHASING BROOKLYN by Lisa Schroeder and SAVING ZOE by Alyson Noel. Yes, I'm reading two books at a time cause I'm finishing Chasing Brooklyn and yet I don't want to finish it so fast. Oh ya. Last Friday was speech day and guess what i get? I got an empty envelope ._. I thought I'd have to return it like the science book prize I got but they said that I can have it. I was so excited until i opened it ._.

#howiwishicouldbehappyallthetime

Hello! Last week was the worst week I had for the past few months. All those unhappy things happened. First, I didn't get what I wanted for rangers. After that, my friend got into trouble due to some other people .______. We have to attend a stupid Kem Sahsiah on Saturday in collaboration with open day.. It's actually a moral camp. It was so boring. It has nothing to do with moral. NOT AT ALL. There are more things happened just that i forgot and I'm not going to tell some of them. Anyway, this week is going to be a new week and a good one for me! Hopefully. As for today, we actually had PJ instead of accounts as usual but guess what? My teacher actually relate PJ with accounts. Its actually a game to make sure we know how to differentiate our accounts... I'm kinda tired now. So I better get off to finish my homework and go to bed. Bye!

Hey! Just posting to keep my blog a live, not. Things isn't going well these days. It seems like things are going wrong again..yes i mean AGAIN. I'll still have to face it no matter what isn't it? Life goes on. It will not stop because of anything so yeah. Finally I found our group picture for St. Xavier Gathering. So, here it is :)